think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
