Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
