sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Acid is not a monday night drug
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
