College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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