He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
