if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
