I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
