bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
a search helicopter?!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
