just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
