Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize