who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
