I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
