We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
