and you said cock pushups were impossible
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
