She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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