i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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