Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
