I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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