my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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