i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize