he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
