i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
