So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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