there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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