I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
