dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
