im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't deserve a penis
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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