Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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