I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
