HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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