Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
