Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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