Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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