Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
