I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
