honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize