She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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