I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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