Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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