your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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