You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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