ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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