He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
