You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize