i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
