the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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