woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize