hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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