miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize