weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
