Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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