is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
