SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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