Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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