wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
