He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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